How to survive the MacBook nuclear winter with a Siracusintosh

Anyone who uses a MacBook (Pro, Air, etc.) needs to recognize the dire state of Apple’s current laptop lineup. While they’re still incredible machines in their hearts, the positive qualities are mostly canceled out by the shortcomings of their faulty butterfly keyboards, and other problems, like a simple wire that wears out after three years of normal use and costs $600 to replace. In my personal opinion, no one should buy a current Apple laptop. The only way forward, for now, is to use MacBooks from 2010 – 2015. Let me explain…

One of my favorite tech podcasters is John Siracusa. The computer he uses is a Mac Pro, and it’s a model from 2010 (whoops, make that 2008). This is not by choice. When the Mac Pro was radically redesigned in 2013, the available configurations didn’t meet his needs, so he decided to wait for the next generation to see if they would. Apple never released a second version of that computer. They are finally due to release another radically redesigned Mac Pro this year. Hopefully it will float John’s boat this time.

Last year I ended up being forced to use my old mid-2010 MacBook Pro for a week after I had accidentally left my 2013 MacBook Pro behind at an airport. It was running the ancient Snow Leopard operating system, and doing anything on the machine was a bit strange. But, as creaky was it was, the doggone thing got me through the week just fine. It made me realize that perhaps it was worthwhile to fix it up.

At the time, I looked up how much it would cost to add a 1TB SSD hard drive and max out the RAM. The parts I wanted would cost around $300. Seeing as the resale value of the computer was sort of around $385, I was hesitant to sink money into it.

The thought of upgrading the machine to its full glory didn’t go away. When Cyber Monday arrived in November of 2018, I took a look at the prices of the SSD and RAM I wanted. Lo and behold, they were both on sale, and instead of setting me back $300 I could get everything I needed for $230. I didn’t think it over for very long. I took out my credit card and whacked it.

Dude, you spent $230 on parts for a 9 year old computer

I know. But I have compelling reasons to do so. First of all, my main computer is my work computer. Even though it’s “my computer,” it isn’t my computer. This never seemed right, so I want to correct it.

Secondly, I simply do not trust the butterfly keyboards that are in every single laptop Apple makes. I refuse to spend an enormous amount of money on a laptop without having total confidence in the keyboard. If a family member or friend asks me what laptop they should buy, my advice is to get a 2015 MacBook Pro. Things are almost bad enough that I’m tempted to suggest a Microsoft Surface Laptop 2, but we’re not there yet. Why? Because old MacBooks are still amazing (even 9 year old ones).

Third, even if I did accept the fact that current Apple laptops have faulty keyboards and bought one anyway, the model I would get is absurdly expensive. The one I want is the 13-inch MacBook Pro with Touchbar, a quad-core i7 processor, 16GB of RAM and a 1TB SSD. This computer costs $2900 before tax, and I would need to spend a minimum of $100 on dongles.

That sucks

Additionally, the Mac I want doesn’t have a discreet video card, so it won’t be a great machine for photo and video editing, which are things I often do. To Apple’s credit, it is possible to buy a $700 external GPU. Of course, if I was being that decadent, I would also need a $1200 high-resolution external monitor. The whole idea quickly devolves into a cash-sucking rabbit hole. No thanks.

Fourthly, while not officially announced, all signs point to Apple making the transition from Intel-based laptops to using their own A-series ARM chips. So if I shoveled an absurd amount of money into a current Apple laptop today, its near future looks awfully uncertain. The next time I buy a new MacBook, it would be nice if it lasted a decade or more, like the last one did.

The title of this post is admittedly dramatic, but I honestly feel like the current era of Apple laptops is in a nuclear winter. It started in 2016, and rumor has it that Apple will ship its first ARM-based laptops in 2020. I avoid buying the first-generation of any kind of hardware (although I made an exception with AirPods, and I’m glad I did). The chances that I’ll buy a first generation ARM-based Apple laptop are low.

So it will likely be a good, long while before I buy a new MacBook. If I could super-charge my old 2010 machine and get a couple of good years out of it for $230, it seemed like a worthwhile bet.

My mid-2010 MacBook Pro was the first generation to get Intel’s i-series processors (it has the 2.4GHz Core i5). This wasn’t a coincidence. Even though I was ready to upgrade my computer for a while, I waited for Intel Core 2 Duo to go away, and for the i-series chipsets to arrive. 9 years ago I wanted my computer more future-proof. Present-day Sam thanks past Sam for this! Thanks man! Dude, you’re welcome! ::High-fives self::

Welcome to the age of the Siracusintosh

Upgrading the hard drive, RAM, and operating system of an old Mac is nothing new. But doing so because Apple doesn’t make the kind of computer you’re willing to buy is new. So I call my computer a Siracusintosh because I’m solely keeping it alive until Apple builds the machine I want. I think others should do the same. That means you.

It took over a week for my 1TB SSD and 8GB RAM sticks to arrive in the mail after Cyber Monday, but the act of putting these things into my computer was going to be the easy part. The hard part was backing up all of the data, completely erasing the old drive, and upgrading to a modern OS. Those steps require lots of time. After the new components arrived it took me six weeks to get around to tackling the project.

I already had everything backed up, but I did it again for peace of mind. This process consumed an entire day. Why? I wasted hours looking at old photos and videos, listening to old recordings, and reading old writings. I was up until 2 a.m. Ouch.

When it was time to erase the old drive, I decided to use the highest possible security settings. Unfortunately, this option in Disk Utility required 9 hours to complete. Ouch again.

Houston, we have a fucking problem

At the beginning of this process I made an unfortunate discovery. First of all, my battery was unresponsive. The charging indicator in the top right of the screen said “not charging.” I thought perhaps it was a fluke. But even if it wasn’t, I still needed to get the data off of the drive as soon as possible.

Another truly bad sign was that the old laptop didn’t sit flat on my desk. It wobbled. I couldn’t figure it out, so moved on with my day. Later, I found some old audio I wanted to listen to on headphones. I grabbed my wired earbuds and tried to plug them in. No dice. The 3.5mm connector would only go halfway in. That’s when I knew something was seriously screwed up.

Keep in mind that I had used this computer recently, within the past couple of months. The battery had been fine, and could provide a few hours of use when I couldn’t plug in. It would be strange if my trusty old battery suddenly died a tragic death, but it had. The computer wobbled because the back plate was bulging. The battery had died and swelled, which is why the headphone jack was borked. I looked up how much a replacement battery would be. $95. Ouch yet again. Now I was $325 in the hole. That’s life in Siracusintosh Village, I suppose.

So now my “new” Siracusintosh has been running for a few weeks, and it’s been great. It’s quieter, but the fans still spin up frequently and make a little noise. It also gets warm quickly, because old laptops did this, and this one still does. I was hoping the new battery would be amazing, but it only gets about four hours of life. Oh well, I’ll take it. The headphone jack works perfectly again because these computers were built for the long haul.

I don’t regret going down this path. I have faith that Apple will correct the mistakes they’ve clearly made with the design of their laptops. Their recent iMac Pro and Mac Mini computers are totally amazing. I know they’ll get back to making the best laptops in the world again someday. But that day is not today.

If you want to make a Siracusintosh for yourself, I recommend getting a 2012-era MacBook Pro, or any 2013, 2014, or 2015 model. They made a change to how SSD’s were handled in 2012, and they’re twice as fast as the 2011 and 2010 models. You can do it with an older machine, but I wouldn’t get any Intel Core Duo-based model. The oldest possible Mac you should use is mine, a mid-2010 MacBook Pro. I’m seriously impressed with how well it runs High Sierra. I’m not trying to be snarky here, but Apple should be proud.

So that’s my story. If you need a new laptop, my strong advice is to get an old one. You can do it, and do it you must. 🐸